Theoretical Tactician Gifts

Sun Tzu takes on Heisenberg

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Football.

"That was a rumor day."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

The Use of Cavalry

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Human males marking territory.

Kosovo.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'