Theology Follower Pillows

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Priest

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Monk Prompt

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Promised Land Signpost

Pre-nuptual Nativity