Theologist Pillows

"Somehow I thought the whole thing would be a lot classier!"

It was the day Malcolm found God.

"If your god wants me to believe in him, he should exist."

"It's not as friendly here as I thought it would be!"

"I know filled with the spirit, and you most certainly are not."

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"

I'd like to see the look on Prof Dawkins' face!

Descartes' Cat - I meow, therefore I am.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Darling, I can't start the fire. Can I throw on a couple of heretics?"

The Gods

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"We only got six days of funding."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.