Theologian At Heart Pillows

Shoot, it smeared - I knew I shouldn't have written the 11th commandment on my hand.

'Can I help you?'

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"All we have left is standing room only."