Themed Hotel Booking Gifts

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

The Suite Hereafter

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Mini Bar

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Bed & Bagel'

Biliard Enthusiast

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Oh, the amenity!'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Seal blubber stew

CSI Fridays

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

'What gave him this idea?'