Theft Prevention Advocate Pillows

"Well when you leave your bike you take the saddle and front wheel"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Boozing and Cruising

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

'Are you crazy! Put that thing down before you kill somebody!'

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'