Theatrical Humor Enthusiast Gifts

' You can't be the front until you've had the training.'

'You feel boxed in?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Just be yourself."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cariactures

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

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