Theater Enthusiast Gifts

Crime in the theater district was the worst. Too much drama: 'okay good, now wiggle your fingers and sway back and forth in the wind.'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Shakespeare in the Way

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'

Theater masks wearing face masks

"That's my father. He's the understudy for my mother."

Arthur Miller's 'Death of a Salesman' Sponsored by Internet Sales Company

William Shakespeare

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

"O'Brien, here, has written us a new play."

'Water? Oh, that's good! Hah hah hah! How very droll! No, sorry old man, no water here... This is a CULTURAL oasis!'

The Ethel Mormon Tabernacle Choir

What a lousy season - there hasn't been a good comedy in months.

'I'm playing St. Patrick in the school play. I need a miter and ten thousand snakes by Friday.'

'I got it! Let's get everyone together, clean up that old building out back, and put on a musical!'

Hamlet meets autocorrect

'Guess what, kids! I've got two tickets for King Lear. Who wants to come with me?' (kids are wathing big brother, reading magazines and on mobile phones).

'Remember me?'

Pantomime Horse

The Global Playhouse - 'Hamlet' A new play by W Shakespeare - 'You'll come out quoting'.

'I'm arresting you on suspicion of thespionage.'

"Out damn Spot

'Free wi-fi for husbands.'

'May I remind you Jeremy that you're auditioning for the role of a munchkin.'

Les Miserables: 'Oh, for mercy's sake - lighten up!'

Oklahoma! "Never mind the farmer and the cowman, reconcile the performer and the latecomer then I'll be impressed!"

Trilby - 'Petits bonheurs de contrebande'.

"You ungrateful little beast! How dare you accuse me of being an overbearing stage mother! Go to your room and stay there!"

Chekov play and scorecard,

"That's our new drama teacher!"

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."

"To invest or not to invest. That is the question."

"I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job with a bit more status...'

We were so close to the stage we could see the actors spit.