Theatrical Character Pillows

"Say 'Arrr.'"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

A pretention of playwrights

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Ruff

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

Sir Gilbert Murgatroyd

Margaret Rutherford.

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

Flying Dutchman

'So, did I get the job?'

An honesty of agents

'Is this still part of your act?!'

"I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. This is a talent agency, not a lack of talent agency."

Crossing the thin line into show business

Jazzy Crossing: A group of jazz dancers cross the road at a Jazzy Crossing sign in a very Jazzy way

Theatrical Agent - "And does she say anything else apart from Moo?"

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."

"That's not the sort of Elvis impersonator I had in mind. . .!"

Sugar And Spice And Full On Drama

Ann Dowd

"He looks just the way he did in life."