Theatrical Character Pillows

"Say 'Arrr.'"

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

A pretention of playwrights

Film Star Robert de Niro

Ruff

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

Rutger Shower

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

John Wayne

Sir Gilbert Murgatroyd

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

Flying Dutchman

'So, did I get the job?'

Margaret Rutherford.

An honesty of agents

Crossing the thin line into show business

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"

"I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. This is a talent agency, not a lack of talent agency."

Sugar And Spice And Full On Drama

Theatrical Agent - "And does she say anything else apart from Moo?"

'Is this still part of your act?!'

"That's not the sort of Elvis impersonator I had in mind. . .!"

Ann Dowd

"He looks just the way he did in life."