Character Performer Pillows

"Remember -- you're a mutant sea urchin, and your parents never loved you."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"Extreme miming"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Freddie Mercury

Karataoke

Tina Turner

Magic Tricks

Jeff Beck.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Midsummer Night's Dream

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

Film Star Robert de Niro

Music Hall Dancers

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Interpretive napping

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Robbie Williams

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'