Theatrical Personality Pillows

"I wear loud ties at work to project my personality."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

The Witches Discover The Wok

Falstaff

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Sock Puppet in Literature

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

A pretention of playwrights

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

Speech

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Ruff

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Sid Sinatra.

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

Gondolier

Rutger Shower

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Casting Director

Henrik Ibsen