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The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

"These keys seem vaguely familiar."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

'It's the sequel to 'Hair'.'

"Okay H.D. - break a leg."

'With your liberal arts background, you should be able to walk into any employer's office and say with the utmost confidence, 'Wherefore art thou, Romeo?''

'No, I don't want to see your personal interpretation of the role. Just stand there and say, ho, ho, ho!'

Actress Kate Claxton and Press Satire after Repeated Fires

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

'Your doctor was given some great tickets to the football game, so I'll be standing in for him. Don't worry, I'm an actor who plays a doctor on TV.'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

'Now in Capulets'

'Is there a doctor in the house from the actor's preferred provider network?'

'No Shylock, not a pound of flesh - I've just had liposuction!'

Performance Artist - Gone to put you off your lunch.

'Are you in the mood to be amazed?'

Anton Chekhov tells a joke...

Bob Becket HMS Pinafore

Music Hall Dancers

Tragic Physiognomies - Heracles: 'Guess if you can, and choose if you dare!'

Oberon and Titania as Abraham Lincoln and Miss Virginia

The country manager rehearses a combat

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

Punch and Judy Show in East End Slums

'Beware the Ides of March... He bites.'

'I read the novelization of the movie, from the play, based on the comic that was inspired by that book.'

'Hold on... If you're not dead who's skull is this?'

'This hand puppet is ambidextrous. It can be used on either hand.'

'Joe the Plumber' The Musical.

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"Then my wife said it wouldn't kill me to go to the ballet with her."

Clint Westwood

Man on corner near theatre has puppets and does 'Sneak Previews' for money,

Skeleton getting his skull back from an actor.