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The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

"These keys seem vaguely familiar."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

"Okay H.D. - break a leg."

'It's the sequel to 'Hair'.'

'With your liberal arts background, you should be able to walk into any employer's office and say with the utmost confidence, 'Wherefore art thou, Romeo?''

Actress Kate Claxton and Press Satire after Repeated Fires

'No, I don't want to see your personal interpretation of the role. Just stand there and say, ho, ho, ho!'

'Your doctor was given some great tickets to the football game, so I'll be standing in for him. Don't worry, I'm an actor who plays a doctor on TV.'

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

'Now in Capulets'

Performance Artist - Gone to put you off your lunch.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'No Shylock, not a pound of flesh - I've just had liposuction!'

'Is there a doctor in the house from the actor's preferred provider network?'

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

'Are you in the mood to be amazed?'

'I read the novelization of the movie, from the play, based on the comic that was inspired by that book.'

Man on corner near theatre has puppets and does 'Sneak Previews' for money,

'Joe the Plumber' The Musical.

Punch and Judy Show in East End Slums

Tragic Physiognomies - Heracles: 'Guess if you can, and choose if you dare!'

Oberon and Titania as Abraham Lincoln and Miss Virginia

The country manager rehearses a combat

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

"Is there a Valkyrie in the house?"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'My Alfa Romeo, My Alfa Romeo, where for art thou?'

'Beware the Ides of March... He bites.'

Clint Westwood

Anton Chekhov tells a joke...

Skeleton getting his skull back from an actor.

'This hand puppet is ambidextrous. It can be used on either hand.'

"Then my wife said it wouldn't kill me to go to the ballet with her."

Orchestra conductor