The Whimsical Writer T-Shirts

A Poet

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Dogs and their thoughts

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"I said slime."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Scuba cow"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Today's Special: Rabbit Stew

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

A man rakes a tree

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"