The Hold Music Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Felix Mendelssohn

Archimedes statue with a lever

Baroque Peacock

Piano Recital

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Scarpia's Palace

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

B.B. King

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Sir Edward Elgar

Music Student

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Edward Elgar.

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

Sergey Rahmaninov

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Musical Pipe

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

"You're supposed to buy your alcohol here, not bring it with you!"

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for Music ofnthe Baroque

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

Violin Romance

Dave Brubeck

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"