The High School Philosopher T-Shirts

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Playdough's The Republic

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

A young positivist.

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Life on Earth - maths advice.

Sex Education

Young Galileo

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'