The Conversational Dominator T-Shirts

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

The Art of Bantering!

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'I'm involved in lots of office politics. Do you have this in Kevlar?'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Filling up 10 cars with gas would be crazy expensive!"

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'What have you got to say for yourself? Or would you rather hear about me?'

"I'm the most pathetic man on earth."

'Of course my income didn't really take off until I left tele-marketing and got into insurance fraud.'

"Now tell me more about your fear of speaking in front of an audience."

'You call that enlightened?'

Why cats will never rule the world: 'First, we'll assume high level government positions! Then we'll enforce harsh taxing measures! ...But first let's take a nap...sun spot feels...so good.'

'She doesn't just hold a conversation, she strangles it.'

'Oh, come on!!? Don't be crazy, butterfly.'

'I think I'm introverted. Because the fake conversations I have in my head with people are so much better than real conversations.'

'I just hope the sun doesn't get rusty.'

"Have you got the time?", "No I've got the money."

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

"Without freedom to offend, freedom of speech hardly matters, bitch."

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"So the only honest bit of your profile was that you 'have a 'vivid' imagination'."

'It's a look back over his Korea.'

"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."

"I couldn't help noticing we both seem about to grab the same little company."

"But that's me! 'The Impaler Guy'!"