Thanksgiving Traditions Gifts

'Sure, they beat their swords into plowshares, and spears into pruninghooks, but they keep their axes and their chopping blocks.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

Grace For Flies

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Pumpkin patch

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

The Last Leaf

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."