Thanksgiving Celebration Gifts

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the heat and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

'I'm not thankful for the squash casserole. I thought you were thankful for the squash casserole.'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"Our Jim's always been a good provider."

Thanksgiving Smackdown

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

Grace For Flies

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Pumpkin patch

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

The Last Leaf