Thanksgiving Throwback Gifts

"We're here to fix the turkey."

Horn of Leftovers

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)

Richard Widmark

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

'Boy, that is one old Turkey.'

'How will my turkey turn out his year?'

"It's our time of Thanksgiving."

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"Time capsule 1994"

CIVICS 101

Scanning documents

"Seems like around November a lot of relatives don't make it to these."

"Let's keep it small-just the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Rosenthals."

Guidance Office

When is Thanksgiving officially over?

The Thanksgiving mom cracked.

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

Thanksgiving Dinners: (Turkey/Ham/Corned Beef/Children Under 5) 'They're eating their own now!'

Pilgrim settler blows smoke signals from his pipe, which are insulting to an Indian brave.

Noddy Holder

'I didn't know what a diagonal line through a cigarette, inside a circle, meant!'

"When I was your age, I had a jacket just like that. And a shirt and sunglasses like that too! I was soooo cool!"

You're really the Ghost of Christmas Past? In the flesh, so to speak. Bit early this year. Thrilling! Pardon? Since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being considered frugal enough to get a visit from you. Will you tour me through my cheapest moments?! Tough case, this one.

Thanksgiving and Truthsgiving

"What do you mean, 'Today's Wednesday?!' I thought today was 'Throwback Thursday!'"

I'm sorry, Mr. Fusco, but we seem to have lost your new x-ray. However, I just posted an x-ray of yours from 10 years ago on Facebook for "Throwback Thursday."

'Too much information!'

'I told you singing 'Don't Be Cruel' wouldn't help.'

'Do you have a diet plan that allows me to eat turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie?'

"Oh great, it's the two biggest losers from my high school."