Thanksgiving Revelers Pillows

'Stop being a baby! All my friend's husbands have had their giblets removed.'

Grace For Flies

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Happy Turkey Day!

Santa does a keg stand.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Plymouth Rock

Beauty and the Baste

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Do you expect to be stuffed on Thanksgiving?'

'Frivolity -- What art thou in for?'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Before and After Holiday Diet

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

A football player catching a turkey

Gramps shows the kids HIS favorite stuffed animal.

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'It's going great, hon. I'm just about to stuff the turkey.'