Thanksgiving Afficionado Pillows

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Dead Funny

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

The Last Leaf

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

Halloween Support Group

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Apple harvest."

Punkins

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Plymouth Rock

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

'I don't know how I could've forgotten my lines. I was all ears when they gave them to me.'

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

"It'll never be ready in time."

"I think it's a subpoena!"

Beauty and the Baste

Pinata Zombies

Born of the Dead

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

People of the Fall

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'