Textual Investigator Gifts

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"