Texting Enthusiasts Gifts

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

Polly txt speak

I'm texting!

"I'm downstairs."

'Are you two still not texting?'

'I'm texting.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"You've all been convicted of not answering your texts in a timely manner. After this mandatory class, you will be released back into society."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Witnesses say he was texting."

Man texting while walking crashes into a parking meter. Bystander smiles and thinks "LMAO" (laugh my ass off)

'I think my new boyfriend's a bit thick. Three days ago I asked him to send me a text message...'

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

May I have my phone back so I can see how my girlfriend responded to the text message I sent right before I crashed into you?

'You don't have to text 'I do'!'

"Is that some sort of weird text message."

What we talk text...How it reads when we hit 'send' without reading it first...

No, "hohoho" isn't an acronym. It just means "hohoho."

The reality is that books are about control. You get ideas forced down your throat. You can't interact. You swallow long, boring passages of someone else's idea. Spare me. When you read, you actually have time to think. You contemplate ideas, use your imagination to assess them, inform your worldview, refine it. It's an act of raw enlightenment. Zzz. That was for dramatic purposes. I wasn't actually sleeping through your whining. I was texting. It's the same thing.

Vancouver. Hey cutie, you'll never guess where I am! You'll never guess where I am either, snoogums. But you first. <3 Tap tap tap tap t - I'm in CANDORVILLE! I'm on a book tour. I thought maybe you and your son would like to have dinner after my signing. Tap tap tap t - Terminal B. Of course! ... 'cept I'm in Moscow covering the story of my old college roomie being a Russian spy who's blackmailing Donald Trump. Vancouver. Um ... if you don't want to meet, just say so.

Early group texts

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Textin’"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'How about a walk!'

Moo Out Loud

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.