Textbook Treasure Hunter Gifts

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

The Dubloon Stops Here

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I love these old decorations!"

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Pirate

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

Archaeologists discover a football

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

Dept. of the Treasury