Text Speak Guru Pillows

"I could ask me 12 year old to translate this email..."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Create some buzz!

Oymoticons

"OMG, LOL!"

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Moo Out Loud

WTF?

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

The Thinker. The Listener

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'You're texting? Wait--'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

7 More Dwarfs

'My market doesn't understand me.'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

There's a real disconnect going on here.

'I see you both texted that you never talk.'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

OMG.

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"I told you never to call me here."

First O.M.G. church.

Resume Consultant. To avoid giving anybody the wrong idea, you should stop calling yourself a "hands-on" manager.

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

The effectiveness of e-mails

"I think it’s time we started resenting other people."