Tex-mex Gifts

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Television Readers.

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'Einsteiners.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Lazy Octopus

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'There's nothing on.'

American Idle.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Tree house.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Love is when you watch television together.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'