Testing Troubleshooter Gifts

Standardized Testing Is My Friend

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'Do you have 4G up here?'

Fixing the TV.

Recalculating

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Tech support...can I help you!

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"