Terroir Taster Gifts

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

Bad for you but to die for

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Is the MSG local?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Wine taster with mineral water

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'The statue of David? I thought you said Mogen David.'

"I'm getting a lot of burnt notes."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

"Wine not?"

'Frank, it's water.'

The Schematic map of Miss Mathilda's afternoon assortment box of Bonbons

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."