Terms And Conditions Ponderer Pillows

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"I gave on the E train."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

"That wasn't daydreaming; I was internalizing my goal targeted self performance metrics."

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"This is not the sort of America I envisioned, Tom-an America in which the middle class has to use public transportation."

'All right, pal, that's enough! Are you gonna pay for the paper or not?'

Remainders Shop

"Of course - we wait forever, then come at the same time,"

'Is this gonna raise my premium?'

"If I promise to take you on a fact-finding junket to Bermuda, I'll have to promise to take every voter to Bermuda."

'Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?' Francis has always struggled with philosophy.