Tentacle Tamer Pillows

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Lets push tentacles he says Lets push tentacles! NOW look at the mess we're in...

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parenting Business Deals

Education Guidance

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"She does this when she's tired."

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"So...what are you in for?"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"Mrs. Tibbles, the vet will see you now."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."