Tenor Fan Gifts

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

Bowled over again!

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

Jester Surgeon

100 best beheadings

Ghostship

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

Meryl Streep

Bette Midler

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

Thor's Other Tools

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

Sir Elton John

Luciano Pavarotti.

Leonard Bernstein

Mozart

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!