Tenor Fan Gifts

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

100 best beheadings

Jester Surgeon

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

Ghostship

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Thor's Other Tools

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

Mozart

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Barihunk