Ten Commandments Collector T-Shirts

Moses with Ten Commandments: 'But will these be good for the economy?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The devil you know and his plus one

Sauce for the Goose

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

'Never look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"I wonder what this was for."

'Ted, I think we need to re-evaluate your carrot.'

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'How old is this vase?'

The Bible, signed copy.

"More aphorisms, please!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'