Temptation Humorist Gifts

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

"P..P..Please! Just leave me alone!!"

"I can't stand the way it's taunting us!"

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

Some other sins you may enjoy.

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"How's the diet going?"

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'My wife can never resist dessert'

Temptation.

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

'It's one of your five a day.'

All Snack Foods 1/2 Off. Every time I try to fight temptation, temptation fights dirty! (Published originally on Feb. 6 2015).

I just wish he'd warn us when he's going to have an out-of-body-odor experience.