Television Enthusiasts Prints

"You heard the little lady, Mister. She said, 'Don't touch that dial.' "

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

'The set has to go into the shop for a shop for a few days. We're going with it.'

'ITV says cost-cutting doesn't mean there'll be a load of tat on their schedules - it's nothing to DO with the cost-cutting.'

'Times are tough, man. I lost my job, my house, and the state took away my kids. Hey, have you seen the size of my new television, though?'

Soul Shopping Channel.

"The new year will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, and it will feel strikingly similar to the old year."

"We now interrupt this programme just for the sheer hell of it."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

TV-Man

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV jester.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''