Telescope Geek T-Shirts

'If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times...don't call me during eclipses!'

Alien David statue

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

Elfie Stick

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Take me to your Larder!"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"It's the dawn of a new era"

Early Colour TV

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Slip Ahoy!'

Rabbits launching carrot-rocket.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Captain, I think we're entering the Binary System!'

Houston, we've just found those lost socks people talk about...

"We've discovered intelligent life in Outer Space, based on how geeky they look."

Caveman Wheel Invention Version 2.0

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

Thomas Edison's brother Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope