Telesales Operator Pillows

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

Thermidor Dali

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Your call is important to us...

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

The manufacturer tried giving the virtual assistant a male voice...but it never listened to a thing you said and forgot anniversaries and birthdays."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Call Center.

'I understand Sir. No, I didn't take that personally, Sir...Could you hold please?'

"He'll talk you to death."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

'Why wait for evolution? Get your intelligence now.'

'It certainly sounds like a fantastic offer, but I'm not supposed to answer the phone.'

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

Fun at the Office #563: THE DAY THE TELEPHONES EXPLODED

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'If you now feel like punching someone in the face. . . press five!'

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

'Now, with this system you can do the equivalent of running a steel mill - keeping track of the quality of the ore, domestic and foreign orders, smelting processes...'

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'