Telephone Titan Pillows

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"Who called this meeting again?"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Sisyphus during Covid

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

Call Center.

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Hello, 911? … The pizza place isn't answering their phone!!

'Why didn't you tell me there was a toilet attachment on our space suits?'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

What are we going to do? Let's get something to eat. Yes!! I like the sound of that idea. Count us in. I'm buying. What's the caveat? Hold it! Stop! I'm putting an end to all this right here!

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

Hazard of texting

Workmen Lifting.