Telephone Tacticians Pillows

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

Genius

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

'Careful. You still have that new-employee smell.'

CEO.

The bus home.

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

Wi-Fi password?

'Sir, we're txting the enemy!'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

'Writing is just like texting except you have to use all of the letters in each word.'