Telephone Sous-chef Pillows

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

Boys Cooking

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"It's fondue night!"

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"

"...it's pretty stressful at the bottom as well!"

RAISED BY PHONES

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"Excuse me...but there are hairs in my soup. I think we should be supportive when our friends open a business. But sometimes I wonder...what are they thinking?"

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

Cooking the books

Hello, 911? … The pizza place isn't answering their phone!!

'Too much spice?'

'It was very good.'

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'Tell me the truth, Helen, you married me for my cooking, didn't you?'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'I don't take no for an answer. I give it.'

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

"School lunch was pretty good today."

"Welcome to the '20-'21 school year."