Telephone Antics Gifts

'He's busy right now but if it's important I'll wake him.'

Call centre musicians

"Yes, I'm alone."

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

iPhone Senior

'It's for you.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

Heck Support.

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

"Evil? No, no, haven't heard anything, definitely haven't seen any, so I can't really say anything more about it."

I know you're a recording, but … what are you wearing?

Armstrong, have you seen my phone? Indeed I have, minion. I've trained the caf

"You'll have to clarify. Do you want to speak to the head of the household or my dad?"

Ms Jones - grab the phone, will ya? We're on hold!'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

"Thank you for calling the unemployment office. No one can take your call right now, because we've all been laid off."

Willie Nelson, hold music.

'If I get a bad grade on a test, I wait until my mom is on the phone, then I show it to her.'

"Listen ma'am, I'll cut to the chase. We just want your money."