Telegraph Clerk T-Shirts

Woman wanting to send a telegram.

Man in the Post Office.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

University Book Store.

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Cat and INOUT boxes.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"