Telecom Troubles Pillows

'No - I've been mis-sold PIP implants.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'It's engaged.'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

Cold caller.

Networking

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"Camera not working."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Are you in here tonight?'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"Nobody told me the 'cutting edge' would be quite like THIS!"