Telecom Troubles Prints

'No - I've been mis-sold PIP implants.'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Data From a Truck

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'It's engaged.'

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

Cold caller.

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Networking

"Camera not working."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'Hi, I'm calling from my eye-phone!'

'Are you in here tonight?'

"Nobody told me the 'cutting edge' would be quite like THIS!"