Teetotaler Humorist T-Shirts

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

The Rural Bidet...

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

Prehistoric Graffito

The Puppet Poop

Scot's beer.

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

School of Comparative Anatomy

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Sanitized for your protection.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Portal Loo

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

Drink kills.