Teetotal Tribemember Pillows

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

'You've got lot toe!'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Drink kills.

'It's the worse case of in-growing toe nails I've ever seen, nurse!'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

I see you're drinking coffee. I'm also a teetotaler. I only force down these martinis for the roughage in the olives. ??

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

A Guilty Conscience.

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Overdoing It.

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

Alcoholics Antonymous

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

A Volunteer Review

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

"Dry January?"