Teenage Whisperer Pillows

'You did a great job explaining the 'birds and bees.' Try your hand at the 'empty nest.''

"Puberty sounds like it's going to be fun."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

Children's education

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

Mother's Love

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'We'll have him back on his feet and under yours in no time!'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

A boy and his spin patrol.

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

"I love my luvvie."

Having It All

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'The boss has decided to spend more time with his children'

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!