Teen Whisperers Pillows

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"Of course your parents embarrass you. That's what parents are for."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Children's education

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

Mother's Love

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'We'll have him back on his feet and under yours in no time!'

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"What are you in for?"

A boy and his spin patrol.

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

Having It All

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'The boss has decided to spend more time with his children'

'I need a new toy!'

"All right. Time to grow up."

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."