Teen Life Satirists Pillows

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I'm an atheist!'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

How much for the lamp post?

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Breakfast at Universities

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'