Tee Time Strategist Gifts

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Sir Winston Churchill

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Walking To School Simulator

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"I know I shouldn't let them have so much screen time, but how else am I supposed o get anything done?"

"Go around the block, my show's not done."

Golf

The Thinker (Millennials Edition)

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

'What a divot?'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."

Charles de Gaulle

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

King of the Swingers.

Golfer couple just married

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

Young John McCain, Meet Old John McCain

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

Union Troops Foraging for Supplementary Rations in Louisiana