Tee Time Champion Pillows

King of the Swingers.

"Well that's the first time I've ever seen a divot in one."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'The grudge match.'

The Amateur Golfer

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'You're away, Doc!'

Golf

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'Good morning. I'd like to talk about double glazing issues.'

'What a divot?'

'Would you like something from the trolley doctor ? '

"Mind if we play through?"

Golfer couple just married

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Fore!"

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

'Don't you think you're carrying this 'oversized' thing a bit too far?'

A Golfers In and Out Tray

'See this advert? lost.. one little white ball!'

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

'So, you're new at the game.'

Good luck making this shot.

Don't Drink and Putt - or even try to putt.